


Capture Them

by EllerWrites



Category: Chess Pieces (Anthropomorphic)
Genre: Chess, F/M, Games, Go (Board Game) - Freeform, Monopoly (Board Game), Reversi (Board Game), doppelkopf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:40:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28488462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllerWrites/pseuds/EllerWrites
Summary: A queen, her loyal knight, and some trouble on the board.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	Capture Them

**Author's Note:**

  * For [etothey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/etothey/gifts).



"...and then there was this guy," the queen continued, "who just walked up to me and asked me which queen I was, imagine that! Black, I said, isn't that obvious? But he was incredibly persistent, so I clubbed him over the head to make him go away, but after that he became even more persistent, suddenly acting as if we were married!" She shook her head, indignant at such crass behavior. "And what were you saying earlier about rocks?"

The knight smiled politely at his angry monarch, whom he knew was not to be trifled with. How fortunate that her formidable temper was not turned against him that day! "I said, my queen," he repeated, sure she would listen to him now that she had voiced her displeasure, "the terrain was rockier than I remembered. We followed your orders, of course. To the letter. We threw the guy who thought he could buy d4 and take rent from every piece that landed there into his own prison. Serves him right, of course, and he deserved everything the center pawns threw at him! It's just ... how should I put it?"

"Rocks," said the queen with a wave of her black-gloved hand, having perfected the art of sounding somehow impatient and disinterested at the same time.

A perfect highborn lady, the knight thought. "Right. Stones." He scratched his head, searching for an acceptable way to explain the incident so that he would not be immediately sacrificed. "There were stones." 

He had already decided to leave the thugs out of his report: It was better for his queen to believe that the arrest had gone smoothly. The white-robed strangers surrounding him and insisting he change his color affiliation were a security risk he could handle himself; no need to bother royalty with mundane police work. "I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, Your Highness. I just noticed there were a few stones lying around that weren't there the last time I visited the kingside."  


"So what? Let some pawns clear the square," the queen frowned, ostensibly not understanding the problem. "Not f6 again, is it? Remember that the castling position is supposed to be rock solid. We've already discussed that!"

Indeed, the knight could hardly forget the telling off he had received for leaving f6 unattended. "Don't worry, Your Highness," he said, "your noble husband is safe! It's just that these stones are popping up between squares, in impossible positions. And, although he didn't like the idea of admitting defeat, out of honesty he added, "Unfortunately, Your Highness, we haven't found a way to move them yet." 

"Capture them!"

The knight was laughing inwardly now, trying hard not to let his amusement show. He had known his queen would react this way, and it was exactly what her subjects adored her for. What he adored her for, no matter how inappropriate the thought. It wouldn't do to giggle, of course. She would never take him seriously again!

"It's complicated," he replied instead, immediately giving himself a mental kick for sounding like an unfaithful lover. "Their constellation seems to play a role."

"Doesn't it always?" the queen replied breezily - and for once he didn't know how to reply.

**Author's Note:**

> Chess thingy. The other games referenced are, of course, Doppelkopf, Monopoly, Reversi and Go.


End file.
